A Year in the House

I have come to terms with the fact that it may be a year before I can leave the house. I know, I know, I'm not a first time parent, in fact, I've been around this block before, but with twins its a little different. Not to mention, with the older kids its always been a struggle to go out and I have to admit that during this last month, I have not been out with all five, at all.  And I don't intend to for about a year. In order to accommodate this, I have expanded my internet shopping for basic essentials as well as trying to plan my trips for the 5 hours of older child freedom I have during the day.  Taking the twins out has its own challenges; for example - how the heck am I supposed to shop with my stroller? I can't feasibly put two baby car seats in a shopping cart and actually buy food for a family of 6. So I haven't figured that one out yet. I feel like I am neglecting the older kids and I make them be quiet while the babies are sleeping which is most of the time. My former youngest, now middle child won't touch the twins with a 10 foot pole and she is seeking attention and telling me "no" all the time.

We are all going through transitions, yet I still have to be diligent and proactive with the special ed advocacy or things will fall through the cracks.  I have already noticed a few missing things already. Don't get me wrong, my kids teachers have been great, they all know that I just had twins and they have been very lenient with me when it comes to returning forms and homework, but as many of you who have a child with an IEP, its only worth as much as it is implemented and enforced.

I have to say I am in a weird place right now. There is a strange peace I have at having infants at 36. I don't feel rushed, I am taking it all it in enjoying my time with young kids since it will be the last time. I am also terrified out of my mind at the same time. I function on interrupted sleep if at all and I struggle to find time to clean my house and write. I know that the first 3 months are the most demanding and it won't always be this hard, but I also recognize that with kids its never what you expect, either.

One highlight is that my creative juices are flowing. I am re-focusing the autism non profit and creating an exciting concept that can be implemented nationally.

Autistic and Alone

Over the years I have become hesitant to tell people that I have 3 kids on the autism spectrum. Yeah I know, I have a blog about it, co-founded a non profit about it and frankly my kids are not keeping it a secret as well as I would like them to(that last one is a joke).

My hesitation is due to the reactions I have received over the last 5 years since my youngest was diagnosed; the reactions range from pity to rudeness. As parents we have all had those why me moments and during one such moment I realized that I actually am glad that I have more than one child on the spectrum. Crazy? Not really. You see no matter what happens, they will always have each other.  In school and society they struggle with academics and social skills, and basic acceptance. At home my kids with autism are not different. They play together, tease one another, and accept one another. It would be nice if my son had 

In My House

In my house, no one is strange. Nothing gets a weird eye and no one

Life Goes On

I love to write, but sometimes it gets very difficult to to express what is happening in my life and the lives of those I love. When that happens, I don't write, thus the 7 month gap between post.  But I was busy, I was pregnant.

I have two new additions to my life, I recently (12 days ago recent) gave birth to identical twin girls; Marilyn and Evelyn, so now my brood is up to 5.  Yes 5 kids. I always wanted a big family. Its been rocky; good news follows bad and vice-versa.  I will expand on that in another post, but right now, I am 12 days since delivery and its the first time I have had a mind to reflect on my blessings and these two beautiful little identical angels that have come in to my life. I say identical, but we can easily tell them apart. Evelyn is half the size of Marilyn.  Unfortunately there was a knot in her umbilical cord which limited the amount of nutrients she received in the womb. So far, both are healthy and growing bigger every day, Evelyn has already gained a pound since leaving the hospital.

My older kids they have accepted them in their own way.  My eldest son who is 14 is aware but interaction is limited, I think they are still too small for him to really be interested, my eldest daughter, who is 11 has held both of the babies, seems tolerant, but my former youngest daughter, 8 was very wounded by me bringing two new babies home, its really taken her a week to start dealing with me again.

For the last 6 months I have been asked how am I going to do this. I really don't know how to answer that question. Its a really silly question so from now on the next person who ask me that I am going to say; "Oh I have a 12 point plan on how I am going to do this, would you like to review it?" I know its a little smart ass, but who cares, we all need to get our laughs in when we can.

For today, I will not worry, or get anxious, or fret. I will just be thankful and happy and blessed with my new world and its new inhabitants.