For the last two years, we have been medical fugitives, only coming out of hiding for absolute serious, mom cure resistant disorders. Despite much resistance and procrastination, I made 3 appointments for the "annual physical." If I want to qualify for respite or for the children to participate in any type of extracurricular activity they need a current physical.
Inevitably, the conversation always takes a turn to that issue, which can not be named. The V word. Vaccinations. It would be great if my kids were up to date, sure no problem. My kids aren't up to date due to my choice not to get my kids vaccinated.
At this point you are either clapping with me or wondering where my brain is.
I used to care about the latter. I don't anymore. I make decisions for my kids based on the information I have read and what I have seen since accepting the red pill.
This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes. - Morpheus, The Matrix
None of the vaccine pushers are coming to babysit my 3 kiddos on the spectrum or pay any of my bills or support me in anyway, so their opinion is as relevant to me as burnt toast. I realize that by coming out of the vaccine closet, I may lose followers and readers, but it is more important for me to share the sentiment than hide for fear of backlash.
I have a hard time with people who completely lack compassion and just want to bully you into an agenda by calling you stupid. I know I am not stupid, I can read a research study.
This post is not really about the ongoing debate, its about what happened at the doctors office today.
So as usual, I let the doctor go on about her opinion that all the studies refute the connection between vaccines and autism. Me; no comment. She continues, by going after my desire to not see my child die from a childhood disease. I say "my children have been blessed with amazing health and their natural immunity has protected them" and she counters with "maybe they are benefiting from everyone else's vaccine induced immunity." I shrug. She looks at me and I see her eyes roll back and reach into her mental bag to pull out the "big guns."
Now for 2 Things most parents of so called typical, non autistic children never have to hear;
Me: I read the reports from both sides and I just can't be sure that vaccines didn't have something to do with their condition. This is the only thing I have control of.
Doctor: I understand but most of the research says it is genetic.
Me: Genetic? If that is so why is that I am the only one in my family and my husbands family that has children with autism? No one older and no one younger. Wouldn't we see it in other parts of the family if genetic?
Doctor: It may have been a mutation in your DNA that you transferred to your children.
Me (IN MY HEAD): Damn it, there it goes being my fault again. If I caused the mutation then why couldn't I be an X-Men like Storm and why can't they be like Wolverine, Rogue and Jean Grey?
Me (OUT LOUD): Oh so something happened to me environmentally that mutated my DNA and passed on autism to my kids?
Doctor: Yes. No.... I mean we don't know what caused your mutation, it could have been environmental or anything. We just don't know.
Me: Oh I see.
Me:(IN MY HEAD): We don't know why its all of a sudden genetic, but we know its not the vaccines, that makes perfect sense.
Doctor: Also we want to keep our other patients safe. If your kids aren't vaccinated, they could pose a risk to other children, babies in the waiting room.
Doctor: --uncomfy smile-- Well our policy is....(she stops and I believe rethinks dismissing me from the practice.)
This is a difficult conversation for both of us.
Me: I know.
I have heard these "2 Things" before. Once upon a time I would have gone head to head with this doctor about the issues and my rights. I am older now and it is not advantageous to me to be right. I'm tired of burning bridges and looking like a lunatic. Any doctor I go to after this will require that I vaccinate my kids, at least I have a history with this practice. I am not trying to recruit anyone to my side, I just ask for simple respect. I don't want to be a mutant or have mutant kids and the last thing I want is for my house to be ground zero of the next contagion. They already blamed us for a recent whooping cough outbreak (even though they admitted that their new and improved vaccine isn't effective in preventing it.)
In my short time on this planet I have come to realize that there are no guarantees and there are many things labeled as safe that were then found to be quite unsafe.
Holistic Doc: We should probably talk about vaccines, what were you thinking of?
Me: I don't want them.
Holistic Doc: Okay, but you may want to consider the Whooping Cough due to the recent outbreak, its fatal in infants and the Tetanus. The other ones you could really do without.
Me: Okay, I will think about it and we can talk about it next time.
If only I could afford to take all of them there.
So, general public, here are 2 Things I can promise you;
- I won't send my kids to school with your kids when they are sick.
- I won't let my kids use their mutant super powers in public on you regular humans.
Honestly, that's the best I can do.