A Year in the House

I have come to terms with the fact that it may be a year before I can leave the house. I know, I know, I'm not a first time parent, in fact, I've been around this block before, but with twins its a little different. Not to mention, with the older kids its always been a struggle to go out and I have to admit that during this last month, I have not been out with all five, at all.  And I don't intend to for about a year. In order to accommodate this, I have expanded my internet shopping for basic essentials as well as trying to plan my trips for the 5 hours of older child freedom I have during the day.  Taking the twins out has its own challenges; for example - how the heck am I supposed to shop with my stroller? I can't feasibly put two baby car seats in a shopping cart and actually buy food for a family of 6. So I haven't figured that one out yet. I feel like I am neglecting the older kids and I make them be quiet while the babies are sleeping which is most of the time. My former youngest, now middle child won't touch the twins with a 10 foot pole and she is seeking attention and telling me "no" all the time.

We are all going through transitions, yet I still have to be diligent and proactive with the special ed advocacy or things will fall through the cracks.  I have already noticed a few missing things already. Don't get me wrong, my kids teachers have been great, they all know that I just had twins and they have been very lenient with me when it comes to returning forms and homework, but as many of you who have a child with an IEP, its only worth as much as it is implemented and enforced.

I have to say I am in a weird place right now. There is a strange peace I have at having infants at 36. I don't feel rushed, I am taking it all it in enjoying my time with young kids since it will be the last time. I am also terrified out of my mind at the same time. I function on interrupted sleep if at all and I struggle to find time to clean my house and write. I know that the first 3 months are the most demanding and it won't always be this hard, but I also recognize that with kids its never what you expect, either.

One highlight is that my creative juices are flowing. I am re-focusing the autism non profit and creating an exciting concept that can be implemented nationally.