Life Goes On

I love to write, but sometimes it gets very difficult to to express what is happening in my life and the lives of those I love. When that happens, I don't write, thus the 7 month gap between post.  But I was busy, I was pregnant.

I have two new additions to my life, I recently (12 days ago recent) gave birth to identical twin girls; Marilyn and Evelyn, so now my brood is up to 5.  Yes 5 kids. I always wanted a big family. Its been rocky; good news follows bad and vice-versa.  I will expand on that in another post, but right now, I am 12 days since delivery and its the first time I have had a mind to reflect on my blessings and these two beautiful little identical angels that have come in to my life. I say identical, but we can easily tell them apart. Evelyn is half the size of Marilyn.  Unfortunately there was a knot in her umbilical cord which limited the amount of nutrients she received in the womb. So far, both are healthy and growing bigger every day, Evelyn has already gained a pound since leaving the hospital.

My older kids they have accepted them in their own way.  My eldest son who is 14 is aware but interaction is limited, I think they are still too small for him to really be interested, my eldest daughter, who is 11 has held both of the babies, seems tolerant, but my former youngest daughter, 8 was very wounded by me bringing two new babies home, its really taken her a week to start dealing with me again.

For the last 6 months I have been asked how am I going to do this. I really don't know how to answer that question. Its a really silly question so from now on the next person who ask me that I am going to say; "Oh I have a 12 point plan on how I am going to do this, would you like to review it?" I know its a little smart ass, but who cares, we all need to get our laughs in when we can.

For today, I will not worry, or get anxious, or fret. I will just be thankful and happy and blessed with my new world and its new inhabitants.

What does autism look like?

Autism is not visible.  Yes people see behaviors and stims, but if a child is on the spectrum and your ABA therapy has been successful, you might not see those stims or behaviors.  How does society reward such progress?  Its a two edged sword - on the one hand inclusion is the goal, but accomodations should not be withheld. How do you train someone working a minimum wage job to be able to identify disability in a customer? Read how one family challenged a major retailer's "policy".


Abercrombie and Fitch fined for discrimination against girl with autism
by Madeleine Baran, Minnesota Public Radio
September 9, 2009

St. Paul, Minn. — Abercrombie and Fitch has been fined $115,264 for discrimination, four years after employees at the Mall of America store refused to allow a family member to accompany an autistic girl into a fitting room.

Judge Kathleen Sheehy, an administrative law judge, found that the retailer had discriminated against the 14-year-old girl, in violation of state statutes. Sheehy ordered the fine this month, after the retailer repeatedly refused to respond to the daughter's mother's request for an apology and denied engaging in discriminatory practices.

The retailer has appealed, charging that the fine is excessive.

The judge found that the girl, whose name has not been identified, suffered mental anguish as a result of the incident.

A psychologist who interviewed the autistic girl said she reported feeling "bad," "scared," and "nervous." The girl told the psychologist, "It's all my fault. I hate autism." She added, "I am a misfit at Abercrombie."

A spokesperson for Abercrombie and Fitch declined to comment, citing pending litigation.

The girl had been shopping for school clothes with her 17-year-old sister at the Bloomington store in August 2005. Her sister requested to accompany her into the fitting room, and told an associate that her sister has a disability and can not be left alone.

The associate then told the sister that corporate policy mandated that only one person be allowed in the fitting room at a time. He refused to let the sister accompany the autistic girl, even when the sister provided information about the girl's disability.

The sister then called her mother, who had been shopping at a nearby store in the mall. The mother, Elizabeth Maxson, arrived and questioned the associate about the policy. She explained that her 17-year-old daughter was a caregiver and asked that she be allowed to accompany the autistic girl into the fitting room.

Maxson asked to see a copy of the store's policy, but employees said they could not locate it. She then asked for the customer service phone number, and left the store to call the company.

The mother said a customer service employee told her, "So, you think our fitting room policy is ridiculous," according to court documents. Maxson asked to file a complaint about the incident, but the employee offered no further assistance.

She then returned to the store and asked to speak with a manager. An assistant manager said he could not deviate from the policy. He offered to let the Maxsons buy as many clothes as they wanted, try them on at home, and then return the items that did not fit.

Maxson sent two letters to the retailer, but received no response. She called customer service again to ask for the record of her telephone complaint. A customer service representative declined to provide records, and stated they were for company use only.

She then reported the incident to the Minnesota Department of Human Rights, which began an investigation.
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